Listening and Clarity
Have you ever finished a conversation and been sure you communicated your intent clearly only to discover your words were misconstrued, misunderstood, or ignored?
Imagine a world where you had the ability to effectively communicate your intents and desires with precision.
Clarity is power. Developing the skill to gain clarity in communicating is like printing money in business. In a family setting it’s like ordering food at a restaurant: I’ll take the ‘happiness‘ special tonight and my wife will take a side plate of ‘cooperation.’
The primary cause of contention, anger, getting offended, giving offense, misbehavior, lack of sales, interdepartmental friction, and staffing turnover is a lack of understanding. And a lack of understanding is the root cause for a lack of trust and respect.
There are not multiple communication methods to be mastered: one for work, one for home, one for engineers and nerds, and another for jocks and blonds. Believing you must communicate differently for each walk of life is a recipe for failure.
Trust establishes a foundation for communicating with anybody in any culture and in any business. The root cause for failure is a lack of clarity, which means trust and respect are not present.
There exists with each human a space that surrounds him or her. Picture an invisible bubble around you. Some bubbles are larger than others. The content of that bubble dictates your communication capability and language.
Is that space safe for others? Is it inviting and neutral? Do others have permission to voice their honest opinions? Can they even voice an opinion? Or is that space filled with judging, persuasion, anger, coercion, and manipulation? Do people fear entering your space or are they welcomed with open arms?
Phil
Years ago Phil confessed a severe indiscretion to his wife. Their marriage went into a nosedive of accusation, anger, rage, silence, violence, discord, and every emotion conceivable. Trust and respect utterly disappeared from the radar screen of marriage.
Then one day Phil discovered the concept of the bubble. Phil shared how his hope for happiness revolved around a support group of men who shared a common bond and when he entered the classroom with these men, he felt welcomed, safe, buoyed, and ultimate trust. Each man in the room offered strength to the relationship.
Phil’s realization and insight hit when he was asked to describe the space that exists between him and his bride of almost 30 years? After a week of internal turmoil and fighting with his thoughts, he admitted that the space he creates for his wife is not equal to the one he shares with his support friends.
The road to healing within his marriage is the same for any of us, it is the development of trust and respect within our own bubble. Trust thrives within the boundaries of clarity. Ambiguity, deception, persuasion, manipulation, hidden agendas, lack of disclosure, and coercion are trustbusters.
Whether in sales, management, business, friendship, courtship, marriage, or parenting, the same exact process for success and failure exist. Trust is the currency, clarity is the power, and effective communication is the skill required for the solution.
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