Communication In Marriage
Communication is vital in a marriage. This story of Nicole and Jeff might be something you have done or witnessed:
As Nicole walked through the kitchen into the man-room (where Jeff was watching TV) she commenced sniffing. Curious, he thought, she must be getting one of those nagging summer colds. Something’s wrong because she walked right between Jeff and the TV during the middle of a 3rd and 15 with 1:57 left on the clock in the 4th quarter. As she continued sniffing Jeff asked if she was coming down with a cold. “Nope, but do you smell that garbage in the kitchen,” she asked? “No can do hun,” he responded as he pointed to the screen, “aromas don’t get this far from under the sink.”
Ladies, what is she trying to communicate to her husband? Of course, you know, every woman knows that sniffing with a little gusto anywhere around a garbage can is a communication message to take out the garbage.
Men, what do you think? I pause here as you make the sort of comment over which any wife would strike you. That’s ok gents; you communicate differently than does your little lady. This isn’t about whose communication style is right or wrong, rather it’s about learning how to communicate effectively within your marriage so you stop arguing and fretting over the trivial things that bog down most marriages.
There are two types of problems within a marriage, 1) those that can be resolved or solvable, and 2) those that go on forever, we call those perpetual. More than 80 percent of the time, the wife will bring up the problems that cannot be resolved. 31 percent of your problems are solvable if you had better communication techniques. The remaining 60 percent that last forever, may or may not ever go away, but you can learn to address them differently and without so much stress, anxiety, and blowups. Your communication style comes from your side of the family, and your spouse’s communication style comes from the in-laws. Learning how to merge them is a function of a few techniques that are teachable as long as you will practice.
Learning to listen or develop a new communication style is very difficult. So you start with something you can change immediately.
To learn more on how to calm down your arguments and open up the communication pathway, click here for an introductory video on Trust In Marriage. You will be treated to a short set of lessons over the next few days that will address the following topics:
- Collusion: how each of you creates more trouble for yourself
- 5 ways of Listening
- 4 Phases of Marriage
- Introduction to Marriage Above the Belt Internet course
Click here to access the Home Page.
Here is a list of the upcoming videos
- Arguing: Did you know that arguing is ok if you know how?
- Collusion: Most of your problems are self-induced. You can change that!
- Listening: This is always a sensitive item.
- 4 Phases of Marriage: The 1st one is learning to focus Above The Belt
- Marriage Above The Belt is a 12-week Internet course for $97